As much as I hate to do this, I’m afraid I need to break up with you. Well, sort of. We are no longer in a relationship; from now on we will only hook up when I make a boozy call.
I’d like to say it’s not personal – it’s me, not you – but the reality is, it is you. I thought we’d be BFFs (Booze Friends Forever) but, lately, I’m just not that into you. I have good reasons (excuses?): I’m working on my scripts and have a day job. When you’re around, I am distracted and not at the top of my game – I wake up tired and not ready to take on the world like I do when I’m on my own. And, truth be told, I have been using you a bit lately; some of the stuff I’m writing is bringing up feelings, and you know how they can ruin a party. Plus, some cool things are happening, things I’ve worked really hard for, and that’s triggering my fears. But shutting down those feelings and avoiding those fears is no longer acceptable and I can’t keep moving forward if I do, so I’m just going to be spending less time with you from now on.
Wine, you’re so sensual and alluring, yet sometimes you let me down; you turn into the grapes of wrath. I love you with all my heart and will never let you go, but you need to stop flirting with me. And I need to let you breathe.
Whiskey, when we first met you were so neat but you have to admit our relationship has been on the rocks for awhile now. As you already know, I like you better when it’s cold outside, so I don’t expect you to miss me much.
Champagne, you have a sparkling personality and are my fave to celebrate with, even though I haven’t had much to celebrate lately. But that’s about to change, so hang in there – you’ll be hearing from me soon, I’m sure. Can’t wait to pop a cork with you again.
Vodka, you were the Absolut best but, except for those 2 Bloody Marys a couple of months ago, we haven’t really hung out in a long time. We seem to have gone our separate ways and I wish you well. No regrets.
Beer, you can be a barrel of laughs, mostly in the summertime; there’s nothing like a cold one on a hot summer’s day. So you will be hearing from me in a few months. Hope you have had a nice winter – even though it has felt like summer.
Tequila, we don’t hang out that much either, but there’s a very good chance you will see me on Cinco de Mayo. Hope you’re rockin’ the guac in the meantime.
The rest of you I don’t really care for and I know the feeling is mutual. As for those of you I mentioned above, I’ll see you from time to time, just not as often. Have fun without me while I’m away – I’ll be with you in spirits.